


A Glimpse into the Light

by peachykeen66



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deadlights (IT), Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, I think? I’m not completely sure if i’m being honest, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Stanley Uris Lives, Time Travel, because fuck pennywise thats why, because they deserve only the best, poor richie tbh, slight gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-19 17:09:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22280947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachykeen66/pseuds/peachykeen66
Summary: The Loser’s don’t know how it happened, or what is doing it, but Richie’s floating, and Pennywise seems just as confused as they are.-OR- What if while Richie’s older self is in the deadlights, he decides to give young Richie a chance to see the future and fix what went wrong in his timeline.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, The Losers Club & Richie Tozier
Comments: 20
Kudos: 479





	1. A Glimpse into the Light

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Hey, you have work in the morning and no access to your laptop. Don’t write this plot bunny that’s been following you around for a week.
> 
> Also Me: *Pulls out notes app and AO3 mobile*
> 
> Did I proofread this?? Mayhaps.

Eddie Kaspbrak, by his own definition, of was not a brave kid. He was afraid of germs and illness. He was afraid of rust, dirt, his own  _mother_. He rarely had these spontaneous moments of rebellion, especially against his own mind and body. 

Being dropped into the sewers, soaked to the bone in grey water, is one of those spontaneous moments he, in hindsight, wishes he did not give in to. The only, and he truly means  _only_ ,  reason he was down in the sewers fighting a demonic alien clown was because of his friends, new and old. It was also these same friends who were stunned speechless as the clown clutched Bill to its chest with a clawed hand, refusing to let him go.

“ _I will take him. Only him. And I will have my long rest, and you will all live to grow and thrive and lead_ happy _ lives _ _, until old age takes you back to the weeds._ ”

No one said anything for a moment, then, “Guys, we can’t.”

Eddie knew they would never leave Bill down here in the sewers, regardless of the child-eating clown’s existence. But in that moment, it seemed like as much as they all wanted to shout  “ _fuck off!_ ”, no one could. 

Until Richie stood up.

Richie had a gift when it came to his voice. Despite the fact that he was beep beep’d most of the time, Richie’s sharp tongue got them out of most of the sticky situations it put them in.

“I told you, Bill. I fucking told you. I don't wanna die. It's your fault.”

_ Never fucking mind. _

Eddie also knew Richie did not  _ actually  _ mean the words coming out of his trash mouth, but that didn’t mean he knew quite what his best friend was doing either.

“You punched me in the face, you made me walk through shitty water, you dragged me into a fucking crackhead house!”

Richie moves towards the heap of old clothes and broken toys as the clown let out a smirk, and Eddie’s heart dropped because whatever Richie’s plan was, he had to do it  _fast_.

“And now...” Richie reached for a baseball bat sticking out of the pile and Eddie saw his friends tense around him, understanding his plan. 

_ I guess that works too, Rich. _

“I'm gonna have to kill this fucking clown. ” Richie winded his arm back, preparing to take a swing at Pennywise.

“Welcome to the-“

Without warning, a bright light flashed in front of Richie and he dropped his arms, letting go of the baseball bat. It looked as if Richie was a marionette with his strings cut.

“Richie!”

“Oh  _shit_.”

“What the-?!”

The light was still shining bright, and he couldn’t see Richie’s face, but he was able to see Bill’s. 

_Fuck_. 

Bill’s eyes were wide, not even attempting to claw his away out of Pennywise’s grasp, who ironically wore a similar face to Bill’s. Which reminded Eddie-

“Bill! What the fuck’s happening?”

Before he could get an answer, Richie’s limp body began lifting off the ground, the bright light following him up.

_ Holy shit, Richie is floating. _

Bill snapped out of his shock and slammed his fist into Pennywise's face, shocking the clown into letting him go. 

As Bill crawled towards the group, grabbing Mike’s extended hand, Richie began floating higher and higher, more so than Beverly had earlier. There was no way they could get him down on their own.

“ _What are you doing, bucky boy? What did you do?”_

The other loser’s snapped their attention towards Pennywise, who was slowly walking underneath Richie. It seemed to be just as confused as they were, which-

“Isn’t that what happened to you?” Stan glanced towards Bev, inadvertently backing away from the group. “Wasn’t It the one that made you float?”

“Yeah, but this is different,” Bev craned her head up, trying to follow Richie’s body, “the clown shot the deadlights at me,  _ It  _ made me float. Richie wasn’t even looking at anything!”

They couldn’t move away, nor did they want to, despite the fact that the clown was only getting closer to them the more curious It got about Richie.

“Could there be a second one?” Ben whispered, “Ya know, a mate or something?”

Eddie’s lungs seized for a moment. “There’s nofucking way i’m fighting  _ two  _ space clowns, you must be out of your goddamn mind!”

Before Ben could respond, the light went out as quickly as it came, and Richie dropped, slamming hard into the ground.  He had barely touched the rocks when he started screaming.  Bev let out a shout of her own in shock as Eddie jumped back, bumping into Stan.  Pennywise seemed surprised as well.

“Holy shit!”

“Richie!”

Richie’s hands flew against his ears as his screams became sobs. He pulled his legs against his chest, curling into a ball as he cried. It was clear to everyone Richie had  _ no fucking clue  _ what was happening. Bill ran forward grabbing Richie’s arm, and the rest followed, half dragging, half lifting Richie up, trying to get him away from Pennywise. It didn’t stop the clown who finally seemed to be understanding the situation.

“ _Ooh Richie, you saw something you weren’t supposed to, didn’t you?_ ”

The clown took a step forward, and the loser’s-Richie in tow-took one back.

“ _It must be nice to know you’re destined for the deadlights one day._ ”

One step forward. One group step back. Richie kept sobbing.

“ _It must be nice knowing that after_ all  _of this hard work, you foolish children have to do it all over again._ ”

“No no no no no,” Richie shook his head. 

“Richie,” Eddie tried, “you have to calm down, you’re okay now, we're all gonna get out of here.”

“ _Oh Richie, what did you hear_ _.  _ _Better yet,_ ” the clown paused, laughing “ _what did you_ see _?_ ” 

_ “ No no no no no!” _

“Guys we need to move!”

“Bill grab Richie!”

“There’s no where for us to go!”

Eddie grabbed Richie’s face, pulling it towards him. 

_ “ Eddie, don’t look at it, look at me!” _

“Richie, just focus on me okay? Don’t look at the clown, just look at me, we’re right here with you.” 

Richie, for the first time since landing back into the sewers, seemed to notice Eddie, and his sobs quieted. 

“Eds?”

“Rich-“

“ _Don’t worry Richie,_ ” the clown sang. The boy mentioned seemed to finally notice Pennywise as well. “ _I’ll make it quicker for them this time around!_ ”

While Eddie was sure he and the other’s had no idea what that meant, it was clear Richie  _did_ ,  as he stiffened. 

The clown ran forward, jaw unhinging. 

Richie stood up, knocking Eddie off of him.

“Rich!”

Richie walked towards Pennywise.

“Richie, don’t!”

The loser’s were yelling, Pennywise was only a few feet away, and Richie stopped, raising his hand out and making a gun with his pointer and thumb finger. 

Pennywise was in front of Richie, spit flying out of it’s mouth.

_ “ Richie!” _

“Beep Beep Motherfucker!”

Richie bent his thumb and pulled the trigger of his finger gun. Pennywise’s head snapped back, blood and skull fragment splattered outward and it dropped to the floor.

The loser’s stood in shock, looking warily at each other.  Eddie walked over towards Richie. 

_ I guess that’s one way of doing it. _

He barely made it a few steps before Richie started screaming again, but this time instead of fear and pain, it was to spew insults.

“You’re just a fucking clown, you hear me? You’re a fucking joke!”

Eddie had heard Richie curse people out before, and he has seen him do so with much more creative, colorful language, but there was never such fury in his voice. That wrath was mixed with something Eddie had never heard come from Richie before; it’s what made tears fall from his eyes as he shouted at the unmoving being on the floor.  He couldn’t even begin to imagine what those lights showed him.

“Richie, I think it-“

Pennywise gasped, as did a few of the losers, and scrambled backwards away from Richie.

“ _Noooo, no i’m the eater of worlds!_ ”

“No you fucking aren’t! You’re just a stupid piece of shit clown!”

Pennywise looked like it shrank a few inches in size, and that’s when it somewhat clicked in their heads what Richie was attempting to do.  Eddie wasn’t sure who figured it out first, but clear as day he heard-

“Richie’s right, you don’t scare us anymore, you’re nothing but a clown.” 

Mike walked up next to Richie, and despite the rage that was clearly still evident on his face, Richie beamed.  Soon Eddie heard more footsteps.

“Yuh-your j-just an imposter, a fake!”

Bill.

“You’re a bully!”

Bev.

It got smaller, 

“You’re a stupid mummy!”

Ben.

“You’re a scary painting.”

Stan. 

And smaller,

He walked up next to Richie, who was still spitting curses of his own.

“You’re just a disgusting,  _ diseased _ clown, and i’m not afraid of you.”

And smaller, until it is the size of a toddler, crying weakly to itself.  Mike, without hesitation, leaned down and dug his hand into Pennywise’s chest, wincing at it’s screams of protest, and pulling out it’s beating heart.  Together, the seven of them held onto said heart and prepared to kill the being that changed their lives forever.

_ “What a shame, I didn’t even get to see you grow up.” _

They all squeezed, and within a few breathes, Pennywise was gone.  Before they could celebrate, Richie whistled to the group, grabbing Eddie’s hand.

“This place is boutta blow, so let’s head out of here like, yesterday!” 

No one asked twice as they followed along, trusting Richie wholeheartedly. Once the ground began shaking and rocks started to fall, Mike took charge, leading them out of the sewers the way they came in.

They made it onto the front lawn just in time to see the house collapse into itself and Richie laughed, dragging Eddie’s arm around as he screamed, “Fuck you house! Fuck you clown! Fuck you future! You can’t tell me  _ shit  _ now!”

After a few moments he fell onto his knees, and cried. Eddie, still attached to Richie’s left hand, knelt down and hugged him. Bill soon followed, as did Stan, Mike, Bev, and Ben. They sat there, watching the ruble settle and waited for Richie’s tears to dry. 

The seven losers had made it. They defeated the clown. They saved themselves. And despite Eddie not knowing exactly how he did it, Richie got them believing they could stop it. He’ll eventually ask what it was that Richie saw while he floated. Maybe in a few days, maybe a year, maybe later that very day. But for now, he’ll bask in the fact that they all made it out,  _ alive _ . 

He’s not sure how he would react if it went any other way.


	2. Shed Light onto the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie see’s the future via the deadlights and wishes he could warn his past self of what’s to come, to give him and his friends a second chance to live their lives they way they wanted to.
> 
> Turns out wishing hard enough works when you’re stuck in an alien light show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i’m a big dummie and couldn’t figure out how to add a new chapter to this work on AO3 from my iphone, so I made it part of a series (which should have been harder for my brain to figure out imo). I’m on my computer so I now can actually add it to the original story here. I’m gonna probably take the series bit down soon, but this is the same exact story as what I posted earlier! Enjoy either way and thank you everyone who commented about wanting a part 2, I appreciate it greatly!

Richie is not a stupid guy in any sense of the word. His straight A’s all throughout high school would back that statement up. In times like this, however, Richie isn’t above himself to say that what he just did probably crowned him the ‘most idiotic person currently trapped hundreds of feet below the surface in an underground Clown lair’ award.

If he is being completely honest, he forgot getting zapped by the deadlights was even a card the clown could play, especially since he wasn’t really thinking before chucking rocks at a legitimate  _space alien_.  While he  _wanted_ to mull that whole issue over, he had other things to focus on, like the fact that he had been falling for what felt like days and showed zero signs of slowing down.

It also didn’t help that he kept seeing images as he fell, glimpses of the past. He saw the pain and horror Beverly had to go through. He saw the crushing loneliness Ben and Mike had each felt, thousands of miles apart. He felt Bill’s grief and guilt for a brother he couldn’t fully remember. He saw Stan, content and at peace with his wife, which, when Richie thinks about it later, probably hurts him the most, and he saw Eddie. 

He saw the love of his life swallow pill after pill, screaming at his wife— at his  _mother_ —  who made him feel inadequate, sickly, a small child they just  _had_ to take care of.

He was also forced to watch events that had not come to pass; his friends dying horribly, getting burned, beaten, crushed, poisoned before they even remembered an inkling of the clown’s existence. Which is what made his current Pennywise timeline so surreal, so horrifying.

He had to watch as his friends, his  _Loser’s_ ,  get crushed beneath the clown’s hands. Get slashed open, blood pouring everywhere, as they cried out for each other. 

Richie may be bias, but the worst one was Eddie, who always had the same ending. Saving Richie, who would never fully grasp the situation at hand until it was way too late, from the deadlights and getting impaled for his trouble. No matter the ending, no matter how Richie reacted, Eddie dies saving Richie, and there’s no way he can let that happen.  _He can’t._

He screams and thrashes, trying to escape these  _stupid fucking lights_ that are not giving him the outcome he wants, the ending they all  _deserve_.  They deserve more. They deserve better for putting up with such a shitty childhood in possibly the worst town in America.

He wants to go back, to tell his younger self to stay in those godforsaken tunnels all summer long until he crushes Pennywise to dust, to make sure they don’t forget each other, to keep Stanley and Eddie and Bill, Ben, Bev, Mike alive. He wishes so  _desperately_ that he almost misses where he is.

He see’s the young Loser’s watching Bill in Pennywise’s grasp, a young Richie clutching onto an old baseball bat like their lives depend on it, and his hand reaches out on it’s own, grasping onto his thirteen year old self. 

_I wish I could go back and fix everything_.

A bright light explodes in front of Richie and before he could shout in surprise, he lands with both feet on the ground, hand locked with his younger self. 

_Huh, didn’t know the deadlights could do this._

His younger counterpart doesn’t say anything at first, still in shock as to what just occurred. If Richie knew himself well, the silence wouldn’t last for—

“What the fuck just happened?” Young Richie finally took the time to notice who was holding onto his hand before trying to unsuccessfully shake it off. “Who the fuck are you? Where are my friends?”

Richie wasn’t gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, so he decided to take the most direct approach with himself.

_“Richie, i’m you, from the future.”_

His younger self didn’t say anything, just observing him for a moment before shaking his head.

“What the  _fuuuck_ dude, are you shitting me?” He then pointed at Richie’s face in horror, just noticing the state of it for the first time. “That’s how Bev’s face looked earlier, am I gonna start floating like she did? Is that what’s happening right now? What the fuck man!”

_“Richie, you have to calm down, I don’t know how this whole thing works, so I have to get all of this out quick.”_

“Wha-what do you mean? Aren’t you controlling all this?”

It was a fair question. It was also one Richie couldn’t answer.

_“Look, I don’t know how this clown shit works, alright? But you need to see what i’ve seen so you can stop Pennywise the first time you guys fight him back in 1989, and skip over my shitty timeline.”_

If anything, it only made young Richie’s eyes widen.

“What happens in your timeline? Why’s it so shitty?”

Richie wants to answer but finds he can’t, opening and closing his mouth silently.  _Fucking clown rules._

_“I don’t think I can say, but i’ll show you.”_

He isn’t sure exactly how he knows how to do this, but it’s as if a separate being is leading him to do so, moving his arm for him. He holds out his second hand, waiting for his younger self to grab on. Young Richie looks between the open hand, and the one that he is still holding onto anxiously.

“Is it gonna mess me up? Seeing what you’re about to show me?”

_“It might,”_ Richie replies,  _“to be honest, i’m not sure what this’ll do, but we have to try.”_

Young Richie still looks apprehensive, so Richie says the one thing he knows will knock the past version of himself to his senses.

_“If you want to save them, if you want to save_ him , _you have to take my hand.”_

By the look on his face and the tears suddenly pooling in his eyes, Richie knew he got the message loud and clear. Young Richie took a deep breath in, wiping his eyes before the tears could fall, and grabbed onto Richie’s other hand. The bright light was back instantly, and Older Richie dropped down, while Young Richie shot upwards, hands ripped apart.

“Wait! No, come back!”

Young Richie squeezed his eyes shut as he flew upwards, higher and higher, without an end in sight. He was tumbling through space. He only opened them once he heard a familiar voice.

_“Why hasn’t she called back? We gave her all of our numbers.”_

_It was the Loser’s, minus Bev, in the clubhouse. Ben kicked at the dirt as Richie swung in the hammock and Eddie helped rehang the fallen ‘Lost Boys’ poster. He shrugged at Ben’s concerns._

_“I’m sure she’s just busy moving in. She’ll call in no time.”_

Richie got pulled to the side as the scene changed, slamming him into Stanley’s bedroom.

_“Isn’t that weird? How does Bill just not write to us? That’s all the fucker does!”_

_Richie was upside down on Stan’s bed, throwing a handball against the wall and catching it._

_“I’m sure it’s nothing Rich. Like Eddie said, he may just be busy.”_

_Throw. Catch._

_“Oh, like Beverly was? Or Ben? Everyone’s too busy to answer a goddamn letter? Or one fucking phone call?”_

_Throw. Catch._

_Stan didn’t answer, looking down at his biology textbook. He didn’t want to think about what Richie may have been implying. It was too much and reminded him of the clown. He shivered and turned back to his notes; they had a midterm the next morning._

_Throw. Catch._

Richie was thrown upwards, flying faster again, images going by before he could fully process what was happening. 

_“We’re gonna forget about each other, Eds. Just like everyone else did.”_

_“We don’t know that that’s what happened. We can’t know that for sure, just like we can’t stay in Derry.”_

_“I don’t want to forget you.”_

_“You won’t Rich. And I won’t forget you.”_

_“I’d like to see you try and forget me, Spaghetti.”_

It was too much, Older Richie was crazy to think he could handle this.

“Stop! Fucking stop, put me down!”

_An older woman with bright red hair tumbles down the stairs, slamming into the hardwood floor._

_“I’ll kill you for even thinking about leaving me, Bevvie!”_

_Her husband follows her down and beats her, punching and kicking whatever spot of open flesh he could. She screams for help that arrives too late. He gets away with it._

_A man is walking out of a store late at night. The light from the streetlamp above reflects off the watch on his wrist. He is pulled into an alleyway, stabbed before he could even hand over his possessions peacefully. They take the_ _watch on his wrist and the wallet from his pocket. The wallet that holds the last bit of love he can ever remember receiving._

_A man is driving drunk, unknown grief and guilt clouding his mind. He drank an entire bottle of whiskey, mourning the loss of a boy he doesn’t quite remember, and careens off a cliff side, slamming into the water below. He can’t tell if he meant to lose control or not._

_A man is yelling at his wife, faces red and hot. They argue about being sick, of being frail, before the man yanks a pill bottle out of the_ _cabinet and takes his dosage mid-argument. It’s only after another fifteen minutes of arguing does he realize he took the wrong medication. It was the wrong dose. Not that it was ever the right one anyway._

_A man gets a phone call, turning his body to stone, and blood to ice. He kisses his wife goodnight and decides to take a bath. He folds his clothes neatly, taking off his beautiful wedding ring, and slices up his wrist. Blood pours out into the bathwater, and he smiles as he finally remembers his long forgotten best friends._

_A man goes into a cavern, fighting a force beyond his imagination. He is alone. He knows he cannot win, but he has to try. This monster killed all of his friends, crushing their chances of ever living normal, happy lives. He fights it because, what else does a madman have to lose?_

Richie can’t take it, it’s too much for his young mind to handle, he wants out. He  needs  to get out.

“Stop! Let me out! I get it! I don’t wanna see this shit anymore, please!  _Fucking help me, please!”_

The scene changes again, becoming more familiar. It’s the cavern they were in earlier, but larger and deeper than they had seen. He see’s his friends again, older, like in the other visions, but this hell is even worse.

_His friends get crushed under It’s hands. Skewered, drowned, sliced, trampled, eaten. It’s happening so fast, Stanley isn’t here any of them, but Bev and Ben and Bill and Mike are. They’re dying, getting killed, over and over again, and Eddie—_

_Eddie, full of rage and determination, throws a fence post into Pennywise’s mouth._

_“Beep Beep, Motherfucker!”_

_As soon as the post makes contact, the Deadlights release Richie and he drops. Eds rushes to help._

_“Hey! Yeah, there he is buddy! Rich, I think I got him! Yeah! I did it! I think I-“_

_Eddie Kasprak dies saving Richie. He dies as Richie is dragged away, screaming and sobbing for his best friend, for the love of his life._

_And then Eddie gets impaled, again and again and again._

“STOP! STOP! SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP ME!”

_And again, and again, and again._

“EDDIE! BILL! SOMEONE! PLEASE!”

Richie is flying faster and faster, higher and higher, until he slams into the ground, hard. He feels the cavern rocks scrape into his palms and smells the old sewage and rotting flesh from above, and screams. 

He screams and sobs, squeezing his eyes shut and slapping his hands over his ears. He didn’t want to see his friends die again. He didn’t want to see their suffering. He  _especially_ didn’t want to see Eddie die with his Richie’s old fifteen dollar jacket cradled against his chest. 

He didn’t notice his friends drag him away from the clown currently coming towards him, and he didn’t notice as they argued at what to do next. Richie kept sobbing, afraid of the world he landed in.

Someone grabbed his face, shaking him gently.

“Richie, just focus on me okay?”

It was Eddie’s voice, Richie would know his best friend’s voice miles away, but it was different than the past Eddie’s he has heard. This one sounded young, and calm, and scared  _shitless_ .

“Don’t look at the clown, just look at me, we’re right here with you.”

It sounded like  _his_ Eddie. 

So he opened his eyes, and through his tears he saw Eddie Kaspbrak, staring back. His casted hand was against his cheek and he looked just like he did when Richie made the first swing at Pennywise with a baseball bat.  _God that feels like years ago._

He only cries a little as he finally says, “Eds?”

“Rich-“

“Don’t worry Richie,” the clown sang. Richie snapped towards the voice. “I’ll make it quicker for them this time around!”

It is the monster that will make his friends forget each other. It makes them forget who they _are_. It kills them in the future, and before they truly get back together. It will kill Richie. It will kill his best friends.

It will kill Eddie Kaspbrak.

The clown rushes forward, and Richie doesn’t think twice before standing up, knocking Eddie off of him.

“Rich!”

Richie walks forward, as does the clown. Rage and grief flow through Richie as his vision tunnels. He can only see Pennywise in front of him. He knows they can kill this clown, he has seen it,  _felt it_.  Now he has to make everyone else believe it.

“Richie, don’t!”

This was for Georgie and Betty and the other kids Richie never got a chance to know.

The loser’s were yelling, Pennywise was only a few feet away.

This was for Bev and Ben.

Richie stopped, raising his hand out and making a gun with his pointer and thumb finger.

This was for Mikey and Big Bill. 

Pennywise was in front of Richie, spit flying out of it’s mouth.

This was for Stanley.

_“ Richie!”_

This was for Eddie Kaspbrak.

“Beep Beep Motherfucker!”

Richie bent his thumb and pulled the trigger of his finger gun. Pennywise’s head snapped back, blood and skull fragment splattered outward and it dropped to the floor.

The clown landed with a harsh thud onto the cold ground. Richie could barely breathe, adrenaline still coursing through his veins. No one behind him made a sound, and it only pushed him forward towards the dying creature. If one good thing came out of his deadlight trip, it was that he learned that Pennywise could dish it, but can’t take it.

“You’re just a fucking clown, you hear me? You’re a fucking joke!”

He spit out all of the pain and rage and hatred at the clown under him, and saw as it’s eyes widened in—dare Richie say it— _fear_ .

“Richie, I think-“

“Noooo, no i’m the eater of worlds!”

Eddie gasped behind him, cut off, as the clown scrambled backwards, trying to get away from them.  _I don’t fucking think so Bozo._

“No you fucking aren’t! You’re just a stupid piece of shit clown!”

The other Loser’s must think he’s crazy but he can’t stop now. He is too determined to stop the future he saw from happening. He  _can’t_ let that be what’s to come for them. Plus he swears he see’s the clown shrink, even just the tiniest bit. He has to keep going, even if it’s just—

“Richie’s right, you don’t scare us anymore, you’re nothing but a clown.”

Richie watched as Mike walked up right next to him. Fists at his sides and eyes fired up. Micycle came to Richie’s aid, ready to fight Pennywise with nothing but a hunch. He thinks he’d kiss him if he could.  _The deadlights are already wrong. Mike’s not alone, i’ll make sure he never is again._

“Yuh-your j-just an imposter, a fake!”

“You’re a bully!”

Bill and Bev stood next to Richie and Mike, screaming at the clown, and It got smaller.

“You’re a stupid mummy!”

“You’re a scary painting.”

Ben and Stan, standing up for themselves.

The clown got smaller.

Richie and the others continued hurling insults at Pennywise, watching it attempt to scramble away from them, yelling back, until Eddie walked up right next to Richie, face pinched and broken arm shaking.

_The deadlights are wrong, they were going to win. They were going to make it. He truly believed it._

“You’re just a disgusting,  _diseased_ clown, and i’m not afraid of you.”

That seemed to be the final hit that did the clown in, as it shrank down to the size of a toddler, crying weakly to itself.

Mike, without hesitation, leaned down and dug his hand into Pennywise’s chest, wincing at It screams in protest, and pulls out it’s beating heart. Richie smiles to himself.  _He deserves to do it, after all he’s been through, he’s earned it._

Together, the seven of them hold onto said heart and prepare to kill the being that has, and would have, changed their lives forever.

“What a shame, I didn’t even get to see you grow up.”

_Thankfully, I did._

Richie knew there was nothing this clown could do to them now. Whatever damage there was, Richie had made sure it would never actually come to pass. Pennywise would die as afraid as his friends would have. Together, they all squeezed, and within a few breathes, Pennywise was gone.

Richie knew what came next,  _at least he thinks he does,_ and whistles to the group, grabbing Eddie’s hand.

“This place is boutta blow, so let’s head out of here like, yesterday!”

No one asks twice as they followed along, trusting Richie wholeheartedly. Richie remembers the basics of how to get out, until the celing begins to break apart, large chunks of rocks splashing into the water, missing them by inches. “Alright Mikey, maybe you should take over from here, yeah?”

Mike huffs out a laugh, taking charge and leading them out of the sewers back the way they came in.

They made it onto the front lawn just in time to see the house collapse into itself and Richie laughed, not letting go of Eddie’s arm.  _Last time they dragged me out of here screaming your name Eds, and now i’m here holding onto your hand._

“ Fuck you house! Fuck you clown! Fuck you future! You can’t tell me _shit_ now!”

He did it, he actually did something right for once in his stupid miserable life. He was so close to losing everyone he cared about before he could even truly cherish them. He almost had the life Older Richie had.

He fell onto his knees, exhausted and thinking about Older Richie, of how he lived through Stanley’s suicide, his forgotten best friends dying at the hands of a monster-clown, and of Eddie being so brave, only to bleed out in front of him.  _That was almost me. I could’ve been him._

Richie didn’t even try to stop himself from crying, curling up and hiding his head into his knees. He felt Eddie, who was still attached to Richie’s left hand, kneel down and hug him. Bill soon followed, as did Stan, Mike, Bev, and Ben. They all sat there, watching the ruble settle until Richie’s tears began to dry.

The seven losers had made it. They defeated the clown. They saved themselves.

And Richie will be damned to let anything stand in the way of him and his best friends being together forever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading as always, and I’m leaning towards adding a short epilogue. Either way, let me know what y’all think! :)


	3. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Bev are asked about the Deadlights. It goes as well as one would suspect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented and kudo'd this work! I apologize that this final part took so long, I wasn't even sure if I was going to end up writing it, but I had a day off of work (finally) so I said "eh, why not". Hope y'all enjoy it! Sorry if it's shit haha. Thanks again :)
> 
> -ALSO- I edited the first chapter so the format of it wasn't different from the other two chapters, so now it actually looks normal as opposed to whatever it was doing earlier!

The seven losers sat by the quarry silently. Bev plucked up the grass under her feet as Stan rearranged the bandages on his face. It was the first time they were all together since they left Neibolt and killed Pennywise two days ago. No one wanted to break the silence that grew around them, but they knew someone had to eventually.

“Gotta say Eds, I was a bit disappointed coming home and not seeing your face on my bottle of 2%.”

Everyone huffed out a laugh as Eddie’s faced pinched.

“Shut the fuck up, dickwad! You don’t know _half_ the shit I had to make up! It took me like, three hours to get her off my back!”

Richie opened his mouth to respond with what was most likely a joke about Eddie’s mom on her back when Bill interrupted.

“Wuh-what d-did you guys see in the deadlights?”

Richie’s smile disappeared as he stayed quiet, looking at Bev, who in turn was looking at Bill. The others looked between the three of them in silence.

Ben shrugged his shoulders. “You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.” Bev sighed and turned towards the whole group.

“I saw all of us there, back at the cistern, but we were older, like, our parents ages.”

Mike hummed. “What were we doing?”

“I don’t remember really,” which was true in a way, she just had brief glimpses and flashes of memory here and there. She rubbed at her eyes, not wanting the others to see the tears that threatened to come out. “I mostly remember how we felt.” Bev didn’t elaborate. Just thinking about the visions she saw, the visions she _felt,_ were too much to handle. She hears Richie’s sobs in the back of her mind as he landed out of the deadlights onto the stone floor.

_Maybe Richie saw the same thing._

“Well, how did I look?”

Bev was shaken from her thoughts by Stan, who was looking at her curiously. She remembers his curly hair, his beautiful wife, _his slit wrists bleeding in the_ —

“Like now but, taller.”

He laughs lightly and so do the others. Everyone except Richie, who is now looking at the ground, uncharacteristically mute. Eddie noticed around the same time as Bev, kicking Richie’s foot lightly.

“You see the same thing, Rich?”

Richie didn’t move, picking at his fingernails. _Since when did he start doing that?_

“I talked to myself.”

At that, Bev sat up higher.

“What do you mean you talked to yourself?”

Bill snapped his gaze towards Bev.

“That didn’t ha-happen to you?”

She didn’t respond. “Richie, you said you talked to yourself. Like, like _now_ you, or _older_ you?”

“Older me.” Richie dug his nails into his fingers and began breathing weird. The other losers leaned in, while Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand.

“Rich, stop doing that, your gonna make them bleed.”

He ignored Eddie’s request.

“Older me said h-he wasn’t going to lose you guys again. He said we had to fix things before they went wrong.”

Tears fell down Richie’s face; he made no attempt to stop them. Stan inhaled sharply at the site. He had only ever seen Richie cry once back in the second grade when Bower’s first began picking on them. Since then Richie had been closed off, hiding everything behind a smart-ass comment or some crass joke. Looking at his friend now reminded him of the cistern with the clown and bright lights blinding them all, but the circumstances were different obviously.

_Or so I thought._

“Rich, it’s fine man, you don’t have to say anything.” Yet, he kept going.

“I saw us grow up and leave Derry a-a-and forget each other, except Mikey who stayed because we made a blood oath to come back when the clown does which was f-f-fucking stupid, and I saw all of us get jobs and husbands and wives and be _miserable_ because once we left Derry, we forgot each other, we forgot _ourselves._ Everyone started—” Richie gasped as he started to hyperventilate, “you all started _dying_ in cars and from drugs and abusive _fucking spouses_ , and then when I finally got through all of that _shit_ , I was thrown into the cistern like Bev.” He grabbed onto the hand Eddie placed on his arm, holding it as if Eddie would suddenly get up and leave.

“Rich, it’s okay man, we’re all here now. You gotta take a breath, you gotta calm down.”

Richie shook his head, swiveling towards Eddie. “No, no, you don’t get it! I saw us all in the cistern and older me got caught in the _fucking deadlights_ like a _fucking idiot_ and you save me Eds, you nail that fucker with a spear or some shit, but what do you get for it? Pennywise’s fucking _claw_ right through your fucking chest! Right in fucking front of me! And it loops over, and over, and over, and every single _goddamn_ time, I have to get dragged out of the stupid cave because I _refused_ to leave your dead body down there. Everyone else gets to go home knowing that their free of this bullshit except for me because you fucking _died_ trying to save me!”

He huffs out a bitter laugh before continuing, “Or better yet, there would be times where on top of you dying a miserable death, I’d see Bev and Ben get crushed by rocks, or Bill and Mike get chewed up and eaten by a giant spider clown _thing_ and once everyone was done bleeding out, it’d start right over again and again _and again._ ”

No one says anything. Bev’s eyes are wide, watching as Eddie looks heartbroken for Richie. She never saw and of that in the cistern. She remembers the terror and the grief, but nothing more. Had Richie not seen this too, she would have let everyone come back to Derry and would not have known what they were walking into.

_Thank God Richie did._

“That’s how you knew how to kill the clown.”

Richie glances at her, nodding his head, breathing still erratic.

“I-I had to make sure the clown died this time around. I couldn’t let it kill you guys.”

_He couldn’t let it kill Eddie._

“You didn’t say how you saw me die.”

Richie locks eyes with Stan, not responding. Bev knows where this was going.

“You said you saw Eddie and Bill and Mike, and everyone die, but you didn’t say my name.” Stan was calm, but there was an edge of _something_ underneath it all. “Why?”

Richie does what Bev couldn’t.

“You forget us, and once you remember, you decide to take yourself off the Board.”

Bill and Ben seem confused, but everyone else gets it. Stan nods, emotionless.

“What does th-th-that mean?” Bill asks quietly.

“I kill myself, Bill.” Ben gasps softly, as Bill’s eyes start to water. “I’m always so afraid. Glad to know that’s never gonna change.”

“But it has!” Mike stood as he spoke, louder and more confident than the losers have ever seen. “Richie changed things. The clown is dead, so no pact, right?” Richie nods as he continues, “So, no otherworldly reason to come back to Derry! And if the clown’s dead, then there should be no reason for us to forget each other, right?”

Eddie nods, “Yeah, Derry should be a normal town now, right? No more clowns and murder and shit?”

“Exactly!” Mike smiles wide. “No more forgetting, so no more death or drugs or grief or anything like that! We won’t be forced apart; we will always be the losers club!”

Everyone, minus Richie, began smiling at that, realizing that whatever was to pass, was avoided. The losers narrowly missed having each other ripped away. Bev watched as Richie seemed to calm down, nodding to himself.

Eddie rubbed Richie’s arm. “Mike’s right, Stan is fine, there’s no “board” anymore. Bev and Ben and Mike and Bill won’t be crushed or drugged or whatever!” He paused, waiting until Richie’s eyes met his. “ _I’ll_ be okay. Can’t get stabbed by a clown if said clown’s already dead, right dumbass?”

Finally, _finally,_ Richie laughed, breaking out into a smile that could rival Mike’s.

“Guess that means my ten-year plan to marry Mrs. K is back on the table!”

Eddie groans, pushing away from Richie. “Beep fucking beep, dude. What the _shit_ man.”

Richie laughed louder, standing up and reaching for Mike, pulling him into a huge hug. Bill laughed at the sight and stood up, joining them. Soon Ben and Stan followed. Bev waited for Eddie to stand, pretending she doesn’t see the too-telling gleam in his eyes as he watches Richie. Once he does, she follows, and the seven losers hug.

They cling onto each other and laugh because they _did it_. They won. They’re free.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this monstrosity! I may make a part two in Richie’s POV, but i’m not sure yet. I don’t know if I wanna leave a huge chunk of the story a mystery or not. Let me know either way!


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